Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
