You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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