im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
