Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
