I just pynch a tree in the face
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
