So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
