I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
