please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
