Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The uberlube is also flammable
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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