a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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