They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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