My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize