when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
