If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
