Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
