there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
