So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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