You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
This toilet bowl is my home.
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