I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
