Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
