is your mom at the bar?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
