But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
