I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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