just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
This is my gift to your gina
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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