I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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