i'm signing you up for texting rehab
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
