It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
