Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
