in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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