the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
