I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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