Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
