What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Randomize
