Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Randomize
