Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
