forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Enjoy the penises
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
