i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
