that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
