dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Just pee around me
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
