Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
