So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
