she was so not down for the gang bang
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
