is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize