Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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