Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
