My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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