I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
