She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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