You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
