my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
