You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
sex in a hospital.. check
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize