Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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