I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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