yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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