I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
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