I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
she smelled like a LAN party
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
