she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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