i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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